Monday, June 24, 2013

Miscarriages, Stillborns and Infant Death are Just as Real a Loss

When people have miscarriages, have a stillborn child or suffer the death of their infant who perhaps only lived a short time after birth it is just as real a loss.  It includes the loss of hopes and dreams for the child, but also is a true loss of a person, someone they loved!

People go through this type of loss often don't have the types of supports in society that other types of loss traditionally do. Hopefully that is changing. These losses are just as real and can be just as traumatic! 

Hospitals seem to be learning that this is a real issue and aren't all treating, for example, a miscarriage or stillborn child as "just tissue" anymore.  Depending on the situation, sometimes preparations can be made ahead of times and the family/parents can work with a palliative care team.

What is truly making a difference is in individual situations, where parents are allowed to hold their child and bond, but also acknowledge the reality of their situation, their loss and the love they feel.  It gives a chance to say hello and goodbye!  These feelings are very real. Treating it as the real thing it is can go a long way in helping the parent(s) grieve their very real loss.

I will explore this more in future posts and hopefully have a guest post as well. This is just as important as other losses! The more we create the awareness of this, the more it might help those who are friends and family of the bereaved understand and learn to feel more comfortable with the situation as well.