Hello,
Reminders. That's it. Something jumps out at you whether it's a physical object, a person, something someone says- a certain phrase in print, out of your own mouth or of someone else, a day on the calendar. You could be going along fine or okay in a day and there it is-that reminder. It puts you and your whole day to a halt. Something that you associate with that loss of a loved one. It hits you that this person isn't here any more. At times these reminders, in my own experience, make me feel terrible or cringe or want to cry. Sometimes these reminders actually have brought me comfort.
It's strange, you don't know how you'll respond. There's such a mix of emotions and thoughts among other things lurking below the surface, some stuff you don't even know might be there. Sometimes it's actually pleasant sometimes it's painful or somewhere in between. What's difficult is that you can't always respond the way you may want to because perhaps of people you are with or you are in some public place.
It's important to process what is coming up or out, but not always easy to be able to do it in the situation you are in. If it's possible, perhaps you can go to a different place for a moment-such as a rest room and go in a stall. If you can call a friend or write it down somewhere. Try to politely excuse yourself. Or if you are not with someone else or even if you are-sometimes you just have to change the scenery-take a walk, water a plant. If you are at work, perhaps a walk to the copier or some other place for a moment where you can get away.
Try to let some of the moments pass, if you can, in a not so comfortable situation. Then go write them down, think about them, go visit or call a friend or counselor. Have an outlet-someone you trust. It's all part of the process. If the feeling that comes up is negative or positive or confusing-it's all just part of the process. It's a journey. It's all a part of the journey. Just remember, as with everything, this too shall pass.
I wish you comfort and peace!
Reminders. That's it. Something jumps out at you whether it's a physical object, a person, something someone says- a certain phrase in print, out of your own mouth or of someone else, a day on the calendar. You could be going along fine or okay in a day and there it is-that reminder. It puts you and your whole day to a halt. Something that you associate with that loss of a loved one. It hits you that this person isn't here any more. At times these reminders, in my own experience, make me feel terrible or cringe or want to cry. Sometimes these reminders actually have brought me comfort.
It's strange, you don't know how you'll respond. There's such a mix of emotions and thoughts among other things lurking below the surface, some stuff you don't even know might be there. Sometimes it's actually pleasant sometimes it's painful or somewhere in between. What's difficult is that you can't always respond the way you may want to because perhaps of people you are with or you are in some public place.
It's important to process what is coming up or out, but not always easy to be able to do it in the situation you are in. If it's possible, perhaps you can go to a different place for a moment-such as a rest room and go in a stall. If you can call a friend or write it down somewhere. Try to politely excuse yourself. Or if you are not with someone else or even if you are-sometimes you just have to change the scenery-take a walk, water a plant. If you are at work, perhaps a walk to the copier or some other place for a moment where you can get away.
Try to let some of the moments pass, if you can, in a not so comfortable situation. Then go write them down, think about them, go visit or call a friend or counselor. Have an outlet-someone you trust. It's all part of the process. If the feeling that comes up is negative or positive or confusing-it's all just part of the process. It's a journey. It's all a part of the journey. Just remember, as with everything, this too shall pass.
I wish you comfort and peace!
